Madonna: Out of Bondage to Warner

This just in: the provocative performer Madonna is chainsawing her bonds to Warner, the company that launched her and made her famous.

That's right, the chains of love are apparently made only of paper: the kind money is printed on. The buzz says that Madonna will immediately wrap up $120 million in the deal with Live Nation.

Hey, that's a lot faster than getting the bucks dollar by dollar in a g-string.

The hot, hot Madonna deal is, industry pundits say, a warning of things to come. By dumping her steady Freddie Warner, Madonna is signalling entertainment's escape from traditional companies and contracts.

Or so they say. However, there's a flip side to this record-setting deal: Madonna hasn't produced an album since her 2005 Confessions on a Dance Floor. And, she still owes Warner some product.

Has Madonna been pouty and petulant in not producing? Like any break-up, this story has intimate secrets.

But the bottom line is: as Madonna ages, she needs to grab the fastest bucks in town. Not even the lethal weapon bra of Blonde Ambition days can survive gravity's fine points.